2. The principle of Godly communication. Proverbs 1and 21,15:2 Ephesian 4:15, 25-32, 5:4,

(A) Communicate to one another not just talking.

Show keen interest in listening to what your spouse is saying.

Give full attention to your spouse. Put aside any interruptions and gadgets that will interfere with your attention to your spouse (talking to you)

(B) Talk less and listen more. Your spouse will be encouraged to know that you don’t interrupt him/her as he/she talks to you.

This good habit deposit some sense of respect and honour for your spouse. This is a learned skill. Take time to listen to your spouse talking to you.

(C) Be truthful to one another. Don’t manipulate each other. Avoid making false statement because this will be registered in the mind of your spouse.

Don’t lie to your spouse at whatever level. Marriage can never be built on lies.

However painful it could be, speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Even when you are making fun with your spouse avoid speaking lies.

(D) Show love and be considerate of each other’s opinion.

We should admit that each and every spouse is wise in something more than the other spouse.

Appreciate this fact and learn to consider each other’s opinion. This habit can save you unnecessary pain or wastage.

(E) Tame your anger in your communication.

Save your tongue from releasing irritating statements. Don’t provoke anger from your spouse.

Consider training your tongue to avoid throwing statements that trigger anger and wrath.

(F) Communicate with each other with words full of grace and mercy.

Avoid releasing vulgar words, abusive words, insults and horrifying words, instead be gracious to your spouse.

Respect, submit and communicate lovingly.

(G) Communicate with your spouse in a friendly way, understanding that you are actually supposed to be great friends.

Your spouse should be your closest friend. Sympathize with your spouse even he/she has done wrong.

Consider her or him as a close friend you will always need.

(H) Hold the hands of your spouse and pray for each other. Speak victory and strength in those areas of his/her weakness.

If your spouse is not born again, pray for him to receive salvation. The best is in God.

Marriage Today: Leaving to cleave.

Welcome my dear reader into this awesome site where we will be interacting on matters marriage. We hope that we will grow together.

Lets first start by understanding what marriage is all about from God’s perspective. We know that God created everything seen and unseen just by word,but when it came to man in Gen 1:26″God said let us make man in our own image after our likeness…”Here he created the man,blessed and gave them dominion over the garden of Eden. God himself ordained the institution of marriage,he is the author of marriage and that is why he lays down some principles to guide it to its fullness and success .Without man and woman going back to the author and reading through the manuscript he has given out(the bible which is the living word of God)then attaining fulfillment will not be easy.

Let’s look at simple definition of the marriage ;it is a covenant relationship between a man and woman on a public vow of lifetime faithfulness. How can we set up an institution of marriage In this error of high rate of divorce cases,broken relationship,separation are the order of the day?.One thing I know for sure is that no one enters into marriage with the idea of quitting on way ,everyone entering into this covenant of marriage has a picture and expectations of successful marriage. Though some marriage do make it ,many don’t. Why do they fail on the way ? This we shall cover as topic on it’s own .The ones that make it through doesn’t mean they are perfect; no it only means that they have set down ways and means of solving there issue and above all the know how to communicate when issue arise. To achieve this a couple must have understood God instruction on having a successful marriage. He says in Gen 2:24″therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh “.The one who understands this principle becomes so easy to raise a family that stands even when the storm hits because the foundation is strong .’leave’ therefore will mean to go out from ,go away from,leave behind ,letting go and ‘cleaving’,becoming emotionally attached to,glued to,fixed to your wife .This doesn’t mean that one totally cuts off all ties with parents ,but rather leaving your parents mean recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family has to be of higher priority than your previous family. This means that it’s the responsibility of the two to make sure they set boundaries on the far their parents can get into their marriage. Many have failed in this since they feel uncomfortable to speak this out with their parents and even the siblings,and so in doing thus unhealthy situation and expectations go unsolved thus hurting our spouse without intention to do so to some extent leading to broken marriages .Refusing to leave the family ones comes from brings struggle because one is largely influenced to some extent manipulated by their parents on how to invest and where rather than cleaving to the spouse to establish strong new families of their own where they are the authors of how they will raise their children .Marriage is so dear to God and that is why he desires it to- be kept holy by both parents. Next we are going to continue looking on the basics of establishing successful marriages .I would love to hear from you please leave your comment I will get back to you

Written by Helen W Kinyua.

Today Me and family reaches out to100 needy families

We in the ME AND FAMILY community are really happy as we continue to impact families positively during this hard times.

Bill Gates in his annual AMA (Ask Me Anything) has been popular with questions and answers. Asked what makes him happy, he mentioned four things.

  1. Stay true to your commitments.
  2. Give generously – no matter your wealth.
  3. Give your body the respect it deserves.
  4. Spend more time with your family.

So let’s talk about his second point of give generously no matter your wealth. While you might not have billions to set aside for philanthropy, everyone can contribute something to help other people.

All too often people imagine they’ll give generously when they have more wealth to spare, but with that approach you risk coming to the end of your life without ever having truly contributed to an important cause.

On the other hand, start now with whatever time or money you can spare and you’ll be able to look back on a legacy of generosity that make the world a better place says Bill Gates.

So on this, i give it to coach Pullar who took his time and resources to create this website up and running. It is because of you giving of your time and resources that today we have been able to reach the one hundred (100) families with shopping hampers that will help them for many days ahead. In kiswahili language we say ASANTE SANA to you coach.

To our partners at ME AND FAMILY, a big thank you for living true to the words of Bill Gates, one of the biggest philanthropist/giver of our time. Thank for giving not because you have spare to give but because you believe in humanity solidarity during this hard times.

The Principle of permanency in marriage that leads to successful family.

The principle of divine permanency is the first principle of successful marriage that leads to functional and successful family. For it to work, the following must be practiced.

(a) Both partners must develop the attitude of permanency and view their marriage as a lifelong relationship.

(b) A permanent marriage perspective is essential to building strong spiritual, social -economic life.

(c) Marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant. Intact it is one of the best examples of covenant of permanency and it is in God’s own plan.

(d) Work against all odds that defy this principle of permanency.

(e) Learn to pray together or for one another, no matter your religion or faith on regular basis to build a strong marriage that will lead to a successful family.

In my next topic, i will write about the second principle of permanency in marriage that leads to a successful family.